the white dove returns - layla

[lovekills]

<center>

I remember when I was a little girl out where the cottonwoods grow tall
Trying to make it home through the forest before the darkness falls
Baby, all the sounds I heard, even if they weren't real
I was running down that broken path with the devil snapping at my heels
I tried so hard, so hard in every way
Swore someday I'd grow up, just throw it all away
Cried all the tears, baby, that I could cry
Stomached all my fears 'til they came rushin' up inside
darlin', I'm losin' and it's a mean game
Still I play on just the same
Wages of sin, I keep paying
Wages of sin for the wrongs they?ve done</center>

<font color="#FFCC00" size="1">[ October 12, 2005 02:59 PM: Message edited by: suicide alley ]</font>

[lovekills]

You?d think I would be tired of it by now, this constant rebirth. That I would curse both Heaven and Hell, doom them all to navigate their wars without the gift of my sight. But somewhere, deep down, I think I actually enjoy it. Living life only to be sentenced to an early death, and then reborn when I hear their calls. They harbor no illusions about me ? they know the rules all too well. I can never choose a side. I can never favor one over the other. I was created by something entirely outside of them both, cursed forever to be neither black nor white, but always grey. To be the celestial middleman, so to speak.

I am the fabled White Dove, but my meaning has long been misconstrued. Never was I sent by God as a symbol of peace, nor did I carry an olive branch. Quite frankly, I hate olives. Disgusting little things with a horrid aftertaste, if you ask me. But I digress.

Perhaps I am the only one that will ever be truly safe in the midst of this Holy War. Mary long ago assured me of her protection, that never would I be the target of her fury, or an Angel?s sword. Saint did the same, instructing his generals and minions to keep themselves in line. I suppose I?m too useful for either of them to want to kill me. Besides, what good would it to? Given that I am loyal to no one but myself, it would hardly be a useful tactic. Still, I never presume to relax in the company of angels or demons. There are casualities in every war, and I have been caught in the crossfire more times than I care to count.

Just ask the Romans. But I suppose that?s another story for another time.

Some call me an Oracle ? they?re mistaken. I?m a prophit, a seer, a sort of supernatural P.I. Many would assume it?s the same thing, but let me assure you that it?s not. I?ve met Oracles before. We have nothing in common. They?re gifted; I am cursed. Many chose to align themselves with someone; I have no ability to do so. It is simply not in my making. I simply exist to play a role, to do my part, to be the window into the soul of the world for whoever has the courage to look.

It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it.